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21 Things You Desperately Need To Know About White Guys With Dreads

Be careful out there.


In case you didn’t know, we’re in the midst of a white guy with dreads resurgence.

Shit is dark.

Shit is dark.

In order to prepare you for the impending influx of white guys with dreads, I’ve compiled a list of accurate (hopefully helpful!) tweets about them.

And please, stay safe out there, my friends.

HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:

1. White guys with dreads might ruin Christmas.

White guys with dreads might ruin Christmas.

2. They are some of the most confident types of people in the world.

They are some of the most confident types of people in the world.

3. If you play it (the Black Crowes), they will come.

If you play it (the Black Crowes), they will come.

Sean Nel / Getty Images

4. They run in packs.

They run in packs.

5. They basically only listen to two bands.

They basically only listen to two bands.

6. They look like spiders.

They look like spiders.

7. They also look like mops at the Dollar General store.

They also look like mops at the Dollar General store.

8. Their dogs wear shoes.

Their dogs wear shoes.

9. They are literally keeping the “sport” of Hacky Sack alive.

They are literally keeping the "sport" of Hacky Sack alive.

10. They will destroy your Tinder.

They will destroy your Tinder.

11. They care about tea.

They care about tea.

Sean Nel / Getty Images

12. They defy laws of logic.

They defy laws of logic.

13. And some may surprise you.

And some may surprise you.

14. They all know how to play “Redemption Song.”

They all know how to play "Redemption Song."

15. They made Shark Week happen.

They made Shark Week happen.

16. There is a very good chance they play the bass.

There is a very good chance they play the bass.

17. And they’re always doing the most.

And they're always doing the most.

18. But don’t fret too much — not all is shitty when it comes to white guys with dreads!

But don't fret too much — not all is shitty when it comes to white guys with dreads!

19. They can help you with public speaking.

They can help you with public speaking.

20. You can always blame a fart on them.

You can always blame a fart on them.

21. And they might even make your dreams come true!

And they might even make your dreams come true!

Have a nice day!

Have a nice day!

Lilly3 / Getty Images

 


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